Hey, Y'all! My name is Mwabi, pronounced Moi-Bee. Moi as in French or Muah as in a kiss and Bee. Easy, right? You’d be amazed. I’m African (Zambian to be exact) and spent many years in Kentucky, so I say "Y'all" a lot. Kevin is my best friend and asked me to write some stuff, so here I am, writing my life away with my column on Kevin’s site. Yes, he is that good a friend, and I love the hell out of him.
I stopped making resolutions years ago. I can’t remember the exact year, but I do recall feeling peace about the upcoming new year and reflecting on the year that was ending. I thought of all the good things that happened and measured them against the not-so-good times. I searched for the lessons they taught me, thanked God for them, and ended it with an Amen. The next thing I knew, it was a new year, and I carried on.
When it comes to goals, I take a practical approach to things I want to achieve. Losing 20 lbs would be good for me, but I’m not running to get a gym membership because I know how crowded gyms are in January. If I’m not working with a trainer or in a group class, gyms do little for me. I often run three times a week, but I do miss boot camp and being in a structured setting. So, I will continue to incorporate that into my fitness. I've got to include some yoga into my regimen as well. There will be no "I’m going to be 20 lbs lighter by March" from me. I’m just going to keep getting my miles, sweat it out in boot camp and do some more yoga. Should I drop 5 lbs, 10 lbs, or even the desired 20 lbs, that'll be fantastic. If not, I know my body will feel excellent from the effort executed.
As we age, our resolutions change. I’m now in my 4th decade of life and recall being in my 20’s. I had an extensive list of goals that I worked pretty hard on achieving. Some were successful, and some didn't last. Like clockwork, I waited until the end of December and made new ones. These days I don’t even think about resolutions. I have revelations or "Aha" moments about impactful situations. I write in my journal about them or call my tribe to discuss.
In the past, I’ve rooted for the underdog, even in relationships. I’ve previously sought out the one that needed extra tender love and care. I honestly went overboard with it. I was out here healing wounds, which my partners didn't know they possessed. I made life easy for folks with little reciprocity. It hasn’t served me well, so I’m not doing that anymore. I won’t be seeking out strays nor broken men and treating them like my own "Fix My Life" episode. This girl is on a new wave; I'm accepting best-in-show contenders only. Show me something, nigga! This year gave me Aha moments like a mug, Y’all.
So yeah, I’m all about real life now. I’m paying more attention. I’m listening more than I speak and I’m getting in touch with my inner self. While working on losing my gut, I’ll pay more attention to my gut instinct. I'm no longer ignoring what I know because we often already have the answers. We just like to try different things like mad scientists in hopes of finding new results.
Did you make any new year’s resolutions?
Here’s to you and here’s to 2018. Let’s get it, Y'all.
-Mwabi